tuesday.
it is finally the LASTEST day of the exams and the hmt paper was so tirring.
it made me so tired i even had this headache during the last 15min of the paper.
cos i had to write so much n we had to read a total of
SIX WHOLE passages.
which is so so nonsense.
but at least i completed the paper.
which is good.
heh.
went home after the paper to get changed n my daddy jus refused to lemme use the comp.
sigh sigh.
yes. and obviously i changed and met divya and grace at the mrt.
cut the long story short.
we went to somerset mrt n we thot we wuld be late n get a scolding fr eleanor.
but in fact, we were the earliest.
heh heh. and grace and divya kept ATTACKING my poifull gummies.
jus because it's nice doesnt mean u can steal it.
we went to mount zion to spend/waste time while waiting.
grace was approached by this saleswoman.
she was soso funny.
she wanted to sell this perfume and she was like:" actual price is 89.90, now we're only selling it for 39.90."
which is like so NONSENSE?
as if we got the money liddat.
n grace stood there refusing jus to follow divya n me, n ignore her.
so we had to go back n waited while the saleswoman blabbered her stuff.
guess what!
we were all wearing black xcept naina and grace.
but grace was wearing the same colour skirt as me.
heh.
n i bet naina was wearing orange, cos she always wears bright colours.
grace guessed bright colours and divya guessed yellow.
so in the end she wore yellow.
yes. so grace insisted that she was 'righter' den divya?
we went to watch dark waters at cine.
so funny n we were so embarrassed cos we like went upstairs instead of downstairs.
eleanor was right.
it was like so scary and eleanor kept screaming which made me EVEN MORE scared.
i closed my eyes like half of the time.
n grace was like saying so much stuff.
naina, was expressionless.
cordelia and grace sommore go put there feet on the seats in front. cos there was like no one in front of us thou we were sitting at row F.
i dont like it when everytime i open my eyes den there's always this seriously scary part.
aaahhh. especially that dead girl in the tank. and eleanor even screamed when there was the black water. so it made me even more scared i dare not open my eyes.
naina n grace thot it was blood.
blood is black? no.
eleanor was pretty sad that she kept saying she's no one to hug.
okay i shall not talk abt it anymores.
we also went to pacific plaza and at roxy, i had share a seat with cordelia while the rest were looking at the stuffs. my butt almost broke into two.
cordelia was being super mad.
she was like:" let's take a picture." and she used her wallet to act as a cam.
haha. jus because naina married me and grace?
so at long john silvers she was so quiet n so naina had to pacify her.
okay.
naina said this breakup line:" joanna i'm sorry. we cannot continue." to me and grace and we were like laughing our heads of.
oh we saw this supposedly gays while queueing.
cordelia said so.
heh. and we all ate the chicken combo cos it was the cheapest.
eleanor didnt eat.
we went seeing arnd far east n eleanor bought a NEW skirt.
n i saw this skirt which was so nice n cordelia wanted it too.
but we didn't buy it.
i had to go home den, and everyone went home too...
boo.
it's just so weird. i didn't actually think that someone would just be like me. having the same problems. stuck in the same situation as me. it happened like sososo loong ago and i just can't forget. like wad she said. it's not that easy to forget. she said it would haunt her her whole life. but at this point of time, it's not haunting me or anything like that. i mean it's already been over. not just like recently and everyone thinks that i've _________ ___. but it's so untrue and nobody noes what i'm really thinking. i'm not in a position to give any advice actually. i dun want her to end up like me. but i guess the best is to totally erase those thots and start anew. u will regret everything if u dont entirely forget abt it. it's so hard to forget. all i can do is to ask god to help me make my life somewhat new. some life that those memories wont make me sad. some life that i can be really happy that if each finds each own's happiness. not just remembering what really happened. sometimes i wish i could go for this memory erase thing. that i wont rmbr anything. but things just make me cant forget. just like wad she said. she just cant stop thinking of the events too. something always reminds her of ___. it's just the same way as me. everything i see always seems to be reminding me of the things i wanna forget. people think i've forgotten. but it's not the way as it seems to be. i'm just waiting for a day that those happenings dont tie me back. i have that two things on my bed. it seems that half of myself wants to forget. but the inner self doesnt. the natural things i do dont. but i will force myself. if that's the way is it. den it's really no point to rmbr all these unhappy stuff. it was my first sincere try. but i guess it will also be the last ever sincere try i'll attempt during my secondary school life. i can't bring myself to forget even during all many happenings after that very day. i've been cheating everyone. lying to myself. i realise it now that's it's already too late to regret. circumstances dont give me a change to regret and get back the things that i've lost. even after one or two weeks after that very day. maybe it was not meant to be. i would have not been like that if i didn't take that one step. temptations n indecisiveness really can destroy one's life. something's gonna tempt me again but i will have to set my mind on something. something that i wun regret so much. no one is able to listen to how i feel. not even anyone of my friends. it's not i dont trust them. but mostly that jesus is the only one who can really help me get those feelings off me at this time. i realise im not the only one having all these problems but it's impact on me is really great and crying doesnt seem to help, at all. those two things remind me. that present. the first ever sincere present from someone different from me. was it jus my imagination or did __ really let me down. i dont noe and i dun ever think __'ll ever noe wad i'm thinking. it's already been forgetten by ___. it's invisble in ___ life. but it's not in mine. that book will always remind me. i rmbr was divya said, erase the past. i'm not gonna do it myself. cos someone's gotta help me do that. erasing everything needs someone to help me. it was my most sincere 1985 sentences. if ever i would be able to give ___ that book, it may have changed my life. writing that sentence 1985 times really told me that i cant lose something ever so precious to me again. that book is filled with all my effort. but it was not handed to ___. it's not a waste. but at least i can rmbr that nice and sweet memory that ever happened. it gave me the experience to live for what i really want. i told eleanor to keep her objects in a box or something. cos losing that memory can really make u regret. i willl give my best to erase that sad memories. but keep those happy memories. things that can make me glad that i've already did my best in making the best that i could of that relationship. i tried.
but he didnt.